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Year: 2003
UK: Kolmik Film Distributors
Cast: Ricky Tomlinson, Imelda Staunton, Johnny Vegas, Katie Ellen Jones, Paul Barber, Tom Georgeson, Michael Angelis, Ian Puleston-Davies, Jackie Downey, Jake Abraham, David Allcock
Director: Lee Donaldson
Country: UK
UK: 91 mins
UK Release Date: 11 November 2005


Joanne Conlon's (Katie Ellen Jones) local church are replacing their statue of the Virgin Mary. Joanne is appalled as her grandmother claims she once saw this statue cry. She takes the Madonna home. But her father, Frank (Ricky Tomlinson), has just been sacked. Joanne's mother, Sylvia (Imelda Staunton) becomes an instant success as a bingo caller, but Frank is furious - as far as he's concerned he should be the breadwinner.

Joanne's Aunt Doreen places the statue inside her chip shop. That evening the statue cries once more. Now people come from miles to see the miracle! The local priest offers to take the statue back home, but when the back of the statue's head comes off and a sponge falls out it doesn't stay in the church long. Never one to miss a business opportunity, Doreen had "encouraged" the Virgin to cry so she could sell more chips!

But Frank is not a happy man and can't contain his anger and jealousy that erupt when Sylvia is offered a singing assignment. Frank forbids it. He throws the statue into the Mersey. Sylvia jumps in after it. Frank jumps in to save his wife, forgetting he can't swim. Husband, wife and mother of God are all saved by emergency helicopter.

Joanne finds the perfect home for the icon, on the grave of her grandmother. As the Virgin stands on the grave the icon starts to cry - all by herself!

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